white+-+explanation

My feeling about the first paragraph is that is needs to open with a thesis-related topic sentence -- or, at least, a topic sentence. By going in and doing straight interpretation, we have no clear sense of explanatory purpose. What's the writer's greater purpose? The same applies to paragraph two. In addition, I'm seeing that the paragraph needs to have a clear explanation of the purpose of the poem. The leap from Whitman's physical state to his interpretation of the soul/nature relation is too quick, too incomplete. When the paper moves into the explanation phase, there's no supplying of evidences in support of interpretation. We need to have the poem sited for us to accept the interpretations. The point of comparison include too many things. And, for this, seems rushed and inconclusive. Again, there's a lack of evidence. Question: What is her thesis .... and what should be her introduction? Alluring .... connection .... poets and the world needed to do this.....